(182) 26. Athesit Republic Newsletter: How often do believers in your circle try to evangelize to you?
*Disclaimer: This may only apply to atheists who were formerly a part of believing communities or atheists who have ongoing regular interactions with believers.
Considering that I am still close with many believers including my family and long-time friends, I’ve recently become aware of how no one ever tries to evangelize/witness to me anymore. Since leaving behind my faith years ago, I have not been at all shy to express my unbelief as well as describe in detail the journey of self-discovery and knowledge acquisition that led me to my current position.
It took a while before the thought crossed my mind: why don’t the people who love me most and care for my salvation attempt to change my heart or reconvert me? At first I figured that everyone was just trying to be polite and respectful, they knew where I stood but better that we remain civil with each other for the purpose of maintaining a healthy relationship. It also became apparent that the only time a discussion of faith or religion would ever come up would be when I brought it up. Generally I enjoy this discussion but understandably it is not a conversation that many like to have on a regular basis. I thought maybe it turns people off, even believers, to go down that road time and again. However, as the years have gone by and when the topic of faith and belief does come up, once my position has been explained, it is rarely, if ever, challenged. Furthermore, the believers themselves never make an attempt to convince that my soul is destined for eternal damnation, and I rarely hear the “I’ll pray for you” response. Yes, they know that I know their position, but that genuine expression of concern for my fate is never evident.
I have two theories as to why I am so infrequently challenged and/or evangelized to:
The believer genuinely believes the quiet, lead-by-example and “show love” approach works best when confronted with a confident atheist. By preaching, they are claiming moral superiority and realize this method only turns off the atheist, destroys trust, leads to division and ultimately conflict. They can never manage to be a witness to someone who doesn’t trust them, nor want to be around them. So the believer figures that avoiding confrontation, letting god’s truth shine through their behavior, will be most effective in making a case for their faith. I would argue that a lot of intelligent believers feel this way. They are less reactionary, less emotional albeit confident in their faith. They may even think that their god is quietly working on drawing the atheist closer to his truth and that patience and love will not interfere with god’s work.
The believer is taken aback by the atheist’s knowledge and understanding of their (the believers) religion as well as the rational way the atheist can justify his/her lack of belief. This may expose the believer’s lack of understanding about his or her own beliefs and how/why they’ve reached them. Many believers, particularly those indoctrinated from an early age, never had their beliefs challenged by outsider nor have they encountered an unbeliever who may actually have a superior understanding of their holy book. Clearly this thinking is condescending and makes us atheists seem arrogant and contemptuous. But I can’t deny these thoughts don’t cross my mind and might have some merit.
Whatever the reasons are, I find that I am the one “preaching” my position to them far more than the other way around. For those of you atheists who still interact with believers on a regular basis, does this happen to you? Why do think you this is the case? Or do you find believers still evangelizing/trying to convert you? Again, this is for believers that you interact with on regular basis, not people that you may strike up a conversation with randomly at a party or in some online forum.
Benjamin Lang
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